The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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