I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
