So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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