would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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