just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
