i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
