I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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