So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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