I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
