you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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