I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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