I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
