3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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