so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
