I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
