omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
