Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
