go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
