we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
