And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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