So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize