How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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