Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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