so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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