STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize