He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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