the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
