That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
