I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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