My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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