I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
