i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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