I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
