ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
