Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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