And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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