we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize