My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just googled if crying burns calories
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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