i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize