We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
