White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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