The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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