I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
