two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize