friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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