I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
