No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
