it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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