You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my poor anus
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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