Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
