Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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