I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize