i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think I just sharted jello shots
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
