yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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