I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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