We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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