ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
