You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
