Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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