The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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