i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
