she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
