..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
