Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you inspire me to be a worse person
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
