Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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