dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
