So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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