I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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