I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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