he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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