It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
